COLD ANGER

It's time for Cold Anger and a lot less Hot Anger.

Hot Anger is, well, hot. Flammable. Easily co-opted by others for their own causes. Even turned against us. Hot Anger is directed at a target we cannot obtain. It's the easy joining of friends to parade our anger when we feel helpless. The destruction of what is in our path because the real cause of our anger is beyond our reach.

Trump is President-elect. Barring jail, while possible since he is in court for both fraud and rape, his taking office is immutable. Spending time trying to undo over two centuries of the peaceful transfer of power will only lead to failure. Or perhaps lead to the destruction of the country we want so desperately to save from what will certainly be a cruel and chaotic four years.

Cold Anger is that roiling in the pit of our stomach, present constantly and not allayed since November 8th. Cold Anger tells us we must act. Cold Anger is sustainable. Cold Anger looks at the situation, parses it for possible alternatives, organizes like minded others and takes targeted action. Cold Anger changes what it sees in front of it, one task at a time. Cold Anger parades only for a specific, attainable objective.

Right now we are in that restless grief that knows there is a next step, but cannot see that step clearly. I am there too.

Here is what I will do first. I will commit myself to helping others stay safe. This is on me. I can choose to do this without permission or agreement from others

I will speak up. I will speak against racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia, misogyny, and every other act that threatens another citizen based on their race, country of birth, color, religion, sexual preference or gender identity. I will act to stop any of the above, right there, as it is happening. Verbal or physical. If I need more training to understand how to intervene effectively, I'll get that training.

I will have this conversation and encourage others to have this conversation with friends, neighbors, book clubs, bowling leagues, golf games, card games, potlucks, dinner parties, social media, any gathering of people who care about America. I will be insistently polite, but I will not be afraid; I will not be silenced.

Second, I will pay attention. I will know what is happening and know the facts. I will understand the options for alternatives when I disagree. I will not hide in everyday life. I will not retreat just because I am not the first affected, the first to be attacked, the first to lose my American rights or benefits. I will not bury my head until it is my ox being gored.

Third, I will constantly be on the lookout for those who believe as I do, for allies. While I can do much as an individual, we are not just stronger together, we are more effective at producing change together. And I will not just look at traditional allies. As the Trump Presidency proceeds, more and more of his supporters will understand the con for which they fell. It is not too soon to begin talking and gathering strength.

I will not wait for a "leader". I will gather real people, join our minds and hearts and trust that leadership will emerge; whether sooner or later.

All of the above is a big ask. Consult the pit of your stomach to know if it is worth the effort.

NEVER FORGET...AND OTHER LESSONS OF 9-11

Yes, I remember where I was when I heard. On the West coast we were just waking up and I was showering with the radio on. By the time I was out of the shower racing for the television, the second plane had hit. By the time I reached my office, we all knew that the television, not work, would hold our attention all that day.

Everyone has singular and personal recollections of 9-11 and the days after. I watched TV endlessly at work and at home. I missed a staff meeting because we couldn't fly. With my husband, we spent the second week on a long planned trip for our anniversary/his birthday in the back-country, out of contact with most of the world. It was both harrowing and soothing.

I was in a high school chemistry class when John Kennedy was shot. On 9-11, I knew immediately that this event would join that day as one never forgotten; one about which would endlessly be asked, "Where were you?".

And the shared feelings, the togetherness in chaos, although now trashed and wasted forever, were some of the deepest and most patriotic I've felt.

Each year we are asked to remember, to "never forget". But what exactly are we asked to remember? What lessons have we actually learned?

On each 9-11 since 2001, in my small pocket of America, the local emergency responders of our two cities, two counties and two states gather in one corner of the territory and parade throughout the towns with their engines, cars, and ambulances dressed in flags; ending with a ceremony in a local park. It's lovely and moving. Emergency responders were hard hit on 9-11 (373 firefighters, 72 law enforcement) and their brother and sisters in service remember them gravely. Citizens line the roads for miles and wave flags. For at least one day, our gratitude to those who risk their lives running toward danger, rather than away, is on display.

Other towns have other traditions. For one small moment in time each year, we attempt to recapture the unity we felt in the aftermath of 9-11.

For those in the United States, it often seems a uniquely American tragedy. Yet, ninety countries lost citizens in the attack. Ninety countries.

And once the focus turned from the victims and our continuing strength as a nation; two competing lessons emerged. The facts of 9-11 underlined our diverse nation and shared sorrow. The list of victims reads like a who's who of nationalities and immigrants. Even today, looking at survivors is a lesson in the multiplicity of people and circumstances involved in American life, represented by one small microcosm in two buildings in one city, the Pentagon and four planes.  Our huddled masses were a world in two towers. Lesson number one of 9-11; we are one made of many.

This insight was followed closely in the American psyche by the militaristic and bellicose calls for retribution and revenge. Those calls are alive and well today although the perpetrators died in the crashes, Al Qaeda has been decimated and Osama Bin Ladin was killed by our military. We cannot seem to let go of our need to punish. Having defeated the immediate causes of our grief and anger, we have broadened our attacks to all those who look like, sound like and share a religion with nineteen fanatics and their leader. We conveniently forget lesson number one and focus on lesson number two: our fear outweighs freedom, welcome and constitutional protections for those unlike us in color, ethnicity or religion.

I know I am not the only one who wishes we had not turned 9-11 into just a day. The events and aftermath of 9-11 had the power to transform us more broadly. It was an opportunity missed. Genuine as our feelings of sadness over the loss of life, our true compassion for the survivors and our wish for 9-11 to positively alter the course of American history; we only appear to be able to achieve those worthy goals on one day a year. We are reminded but not transformed.

LOOKING INTO HEARTS

"I don’t think Trump is spreading bigotry and racism in this country — I think he is unleashing it. He is saying the things that a lot of people already believed but were too polite or afraid to say in public." ~~Saqib Bhatti

Over the last weeks, I have watched with horror our country's descent into madness lead by Donald Trump. I've re-posted on Facebook dozens of opinion pieces and then taken Facebook time outs because my helpless anger and despair went beyond my ability to stay sane. Now, with a deep breath, no little trepidation and some help from a poet, I hope to make sense of our evolving politics, both for myself and for my country; to look into the hearts of my country and, much harder, to look into my own heart.

Saqib Bhatti, quoted above, said squarely and openly what many of us are thinking. The problem isn't the abomination that is Donald Trump. Without supporters, Trump is just one more representative of humankind's worst and most evil; easily avoided and dismissed.

So, who are we really as a country? Are we the land of the free and the home of the brave? Are we the Statue of Liberty:

"A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles."

...

  "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Or have we become an island in the world that protects our glorious bounty at the cost of our humanity? An island that not only fails to welcome others, but openly rejects our own if they don't look, worship or act like white male elders? An island where one person's success MUST come at the expense of another? A zero sum game of life. A "business model" for the soul.

What have we become? What do we think we are? What are we really? Is this a new us or just the peeling back of a false face? Did we grow up to become the bully down the street?

When I look into hearts will I see compassion or loathing? Empathy or repugnance? Harmony or singularity? One of many or many of one?

Much has been said about fear and anger as the motivators to support Trump. This idea seems merely a weak excuse for hate. Yet these are our neighbors, members of our congregations, owners of local businesses, parents of our children's playmates. They walk the same paths we walk. Are we sure that it is not possible for us to become them? And can we keep the promise of America on a steady course through turbulent times and the fierce headwinds of fabricated fright?

This political season has brought us the, perhaps unwelcome, need to examine our own hearts.  Can we look at ourselves, our children and our grandchildren and declare that when we traversed the great political divide of 2016 our judgment was fearless, sound and humane? This is truly a battle for the soul of America and for the conscience of each American citizen.

"Once to every man and nation, comes the moment to decide.

In the strife of truth with falsehood, for the good or evil side." ~~James Russell Lowell