COLD ANGER

It's time for Cold Anger and a lot less Hot Anger.

Hot Anger is, well, hot. Flammable. Easily co-opted by others for their own causes. Even turned against us. Hot Anger is directed at a target we cannot obtain. It's the easy joining of friends to parade our anger when we feel helpless. The destruction of what is in our path because the real cause of our anger is beyond our reach.

Trump is President-elect. Barring jail, while possible since he is in court for both fraud and rape, his taking office is immutable. Spending time trying to undo over two centuries of the peaceful transfer of power will only lead to failure. Or perhaps lead to the destruction of the country we want so desperately to save from what will certainly be a cruel and chaotic four years.

Cold Anger is that roiling in the pit of our stomach, present constantly and not allayed since November 8th. Cold Anger tells us we must act. Cold Anger is sustainable. Cold Anger looks at the situation, parses it for possible alternatives, organizes like minded others and takes targeted action. Cold Anger changes what it sees in front of it, one task at a time. Cold Anger parades only for a specific, attainable objective.

Right now we are in that restless grief that knows there is a next step, but cannot see that step clearly. I am there too.

Here is what I will do first. I will commit myself to helping others stay safe. This is on me. I can choose to do this without permission or agreement from others

I will speak up. I will speak against racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia, misogyny, and every other act that threatens another citizen based on their race, country of birth, color, religion, sexual preference or gender identity. I will act to stop any of the above, right there, as it is happening. Verbal or physical. If I need more training to understand how to intervene effectively, I'll get that training.

I will have this conversation and encourage others to have this conversation with friends, neighbors, book clubs, bowling leagues, golf games, card games, potlucks, dinner parties, social media, any gathering of people who care about America. I will be insistently polite, but I will not be afraid; I will not be silenced.

Second, I will pay attention. I will know what is happening and know the facts. I will understand the options for alternatives when I disagree. I will not hide in everyday life. I will not retreat just because I am not the first affected, the first to be attacked, the first to lose my American rights or benefits. I will not bury my head until it is my ox being gored.

Third, I will constantly be on the lookout for those who believe as I do, for allies. While I can do much as an individual, we are not just stronger together, we are more effective at producing change together. And I will not just look at traditional allies. As the Trump Presidency proceeds, more and more of his supporters will understand the con for which they fell. It is not too soon to begin talking and gathering strength.

I will not wait for a "leader". I will gather real people, join our minds and hearts and trust that leadership will emerge; whether sooner or later.

All of the above is a big ask. Consult the pit of your stomach to know if it is worth the effort.

THE POLITICAL IS PERSONAL

For every dress I wore standing at the school bus stop in a winter snow storm. For every school sport in which I was not welcome. For the school counselor who, when I shared I wanted to be a biochemist, told me that I should be a special education teacher to use my science expertise.

For every paycheck I took home that was less because as a single mother I was not a (male)head of household/breadwinner. For every debate about whether business pantsuits, rather than dresses, might be acceptable work attire. For every time in a meeting I made a suggestion that received no response until, sometime later, a male colleague made the same suggestion. For the client that suggested I have a male staff person sign my letter to his boss so his (male) boss would pay attention.

For every quiet, personal doubt as the only female on an all male staff - one of few female staff in the entire country. For every time I sang "I Am Woman" for courage on my way to face an all male board or boss to resolve conflict on behalf of my clients. For never before having revealed that fact to even those closest to me.

For all those things and thousands more, large and small, the political is personal. On behalf of my generation and those strong women from the past upon which we stood...HALLELUJAH and thank you for persevering Hillary Clinton. May we all take a moment to celebrate and appreciate how truly remarkable the accomplishment today is for all women. May we celebrate again in November, Madam President.